The Counterfeit Architecture of Care: Why We Mistake Assistance for Intimacy

This essay is an investigation into the counterfeit architecture of care: the many convincing imitations of intimacy that leave us feeling quietly alone.

Prologue: The Three-Month Ghost

A few years ago, when a severe flu variant knocked me flat for a fortnight, a friend drove over an hour through a blinding rainstorm to bring me a container of hot soup.… Read the rest “The Counterfeit Architecture of Care: Why We Mistake Assistance for Intimacy”

I Stopped Being a ‘Low-Maintenance’ Friend and Nearly Lost My Best Friend Over a Heart Emoji

A reply six days late, a heart emoji, and the two-month experiment that cured me of being everyone’s low-maintenance friend.

Last Thursday, I finally answered a text that had been sitting in my inbox for six days.

It was from Jess. A decade ago, I’d have called her my closest friend without needing to think about it.… Read the rest “I Stopped Being a ‘Low-Maintenance’ Friend and Nearly Lost My Best Friend Over a Heart Emoji”